Friday, June 3, 2011

Step 9: Get some Exercise

Now let me start this off by professing my extreme aversion to exercise: I hate it. It isn't the physical activity in itself that I find unbearable; it is the sweat. Since childhood I've been under the impression that sweat is your body's natural way of saying "Something is wrong-take a shower immediately." It is hard to get a good exercise routine going when one is constantly jumping in and out of the shower, so I tend to avoid it all together. In fact, exercise is so foreign to me that at first, I couldn't even spell the word correctly for this post. Excersize, exersize, excersise, exercize, exercyse, exercyze... it was hard. I Googled it.

Why am I advising you to partake in such an activity? There are my reasons:

1. I was wrong about sweat. As slimy and unpleasant as it is, it turns out that it completely natural and all healthy people do it. It is not, as I thought, "skin urine".

2. Physical activity causes your body to release endorphins which make you happy and energetic.

3. Regular exercise may cause positive side effects such as: a hot ass, muffin top-ectomy, a marked decrease in thunder thigh circumference, Michelle Obama arms*, and the ability to lift things.

If you are anything like me, you find gym equipment is confusing and terrifying. Fear not! There are other ways to release those endorphins. I enjoy swimming because I don't have to sweat. Rollerblading and ice skating can also be fun, providing one has decent balance and/or a sense of humor about oneself. I'd also recommend rock climbing at a gym because not only are you improving your upper body strength, you are also learning a skill that may help you someday should you ever find yourself needing to escape a pack of wolves or a cursed Incan temple.

XOXO Hannah

* Should you find yourself developing Madonna-arms discontinue exercise immediately and eat a cookie.

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