Step 12: Respect Nature

Yesterday I think I learned a little bit about karma. Specifically I learned that when you disrespect nature by littering a gum wrapper and then entertain yourself by injuring a bunch of ants and feed to Tyler's Venus fly trap, nature will find it appropriate to put this guy in your bed at 2AM.

His name is Sand Tiger Beetle and he lived in sand deposits along rivers. He also enjoyed the neck and back support of my Temurpedic mattress pad. I say enjoyed because he's dead now. He was squished by my roommate's sandals. Unfortunately being dead didn't stop his mangled corpse from magically appearing in MY sandals this morning. 

I think I've finally put Sand Tiger Beetle's murdered soul at rest by giving him a proper burial in the toilet, but I can only wait and pray that his reign of terror has finally ended.

So ladies and gents my tip for you today is this: pick up your gum wrappers and respect the ants or the ghost of Sand Tiger Beetle will come after you next.

xoxo Hannah

Step 6: Go Outside, Dammit!

My dorm is a lot like a military bunker. It's dark, indestructible, and probably a little bit haunted. In fact, sometimes when I'm stressed out or it's cold and snowy I like to wrap myself up in blankets and pretend I'm hiding from the Germans.

However, as fun as that is, there is also something to be said for going outside from time to time.  It's hard to be very kick-ass in a bunker and vitamin D (that's the sun for those of you not in the know) is a great remedy for the blahs and also promotes bone growth for those of you who are into that sort of thing. There are all sorts of benefits to enjoying the great outdoors. This is my list:

1. There are people out there, real people, and some of them want to talk to you
2. Today I saw an albino squirrel and two bald eagles and I was like, "YEAH AMERICA!"
3. I'm such a pale beacon of light that if I stood on the banks of Lake Superior I could easily guide ships to harbor. The sun can fix that and the sun is outside

4. Now is the perfect time to show off all those cute spring outfits you've been hiding all winter
5. Taking a hike outdoors is a great way to relax and develop an amazing butt at the same time
6. The last time I was out I saw a LARPer* get hit in the face with a fake sword and oh how I laughed!

PS: these are LARPers (live action role-players):




So here's your homework: go outside, dammit! I don't care what you do out there; hell, is you want to LARP more power to ya. Just be careful with your damn sword and don't be offended when people stare at you because you are yelling spells and making lightening noises in the middle of a public park.

xoxo Hannah